How Ilia Got Her Groove Back
by LaughingTragedy
Summary: Gay lizards need love too, so the combined might of RWBY and JNPR set out to find one Ilia Amitola the love of her life. Or at least get her out of the bed since Blake turned her down. Rated T for language, romcom shenanigans, and love. (Cover taken from SketchyHungry / )
1. Chapter 1

**This story was born out of my want for more LGBT-themed content and who better to star in such content than our own lesbian lizard. Each chapter will focus on the gang attempting to set her up with a different female character. Bit of info going in so people don't get ship hopes up and there is no confusion.**

 **Setting: An AU where Ilia is one of the transfer students, you know one of those vague pre-Fall of Beacon aus where nothing bad ever happens. Let's go with she left the White Fang along with Blake, her parents still being alive, and finding Adam to be a dick.**

* * *

Ilia was currently in the cafeteria with the rest of Team FNKI, playing with the food on her plate as she's lost her appetite. Time and time again, she's been unable to admit her feelings to a certain monochrome member of RWBY. Her latest attempt involved trying to corner her in the library and just say it outright, only to freeze once the girl turned around. Her teammates took notice, her fellow faunus poking her cheek to try and get her attention.

"Helloooooo, Remnant to Ilia~"

Neon smiled, trying to force a smile onto the girl. Good news, she was no longer downtrodden but instead was now glaring daggers at the cat. "Oh good, you're up!"

Amitola turned to her dear team leader, "She does that again I will invest in a spraybottle..."

Flynt let out a laugh, "That would help keep her out of my things, but seriously what's gotten you down?" He leaned in, bringing his sunglasses down as he eyed Team RWBY and JNPR not that far away. She started turning a faint shade of pink, already knowing where he was looking out. She let out a sigh, putting her head in her hands. "You guys wouldn't happen to have advice for this...?"

"Serenade her?"

"Flash her?"

Ilia banged her head on the table, mentally screaming as she remembered who she was teammates with.

"Ask her friends?"

Amitola turned to the girl beside her, the K in FNKI they just called Kay. "Come again? I've known her for so long, how will that help?"

The girl shrugged, "They've gotten closer to her, possibly finding out about her latest likes and interests. Hell, they might even help you confess or even get with Belladonna."

Ilia blinked, turning back to the table, "That... could actually work!" She beamed, a plan already forming as she honed in on her targets.

The blonde... intimidated her to be completely honest, she knew this one was Blake's partner but decided to save her for later. Her sister seemed easier to talk to, the so-called "Ice Queen" was an immediate no. Her eyes drifted over to JNPR and she started weighing her options...

 _Blondie but with a dick, approachable but probably not the type Blake hangs out with a lot..._

 _Pyrrha freakin' Nikos? That's like going up to Spruce Willis and asking him for advice..._

 _Lil' red? Hmm, seems... overenthusiastic but might be of some help. Cute as well..._

 _The Mistrali seems like a cool guy, hell kinda reminds me of Blake herself.._

She had three (maybe four) options to choose from, instilled with new vigor she knew this time around she'll be able to bag that cat.

"YES!" She pumped her fist in the air, reality setting in as she meant to do that in her head.

A couple of the nearby tables, including RWBYJNPR's, were just looking at her with bewilderment. Ilia turned a bright pink with her darker spots turning red. Flynt stifled a chuckle, coughing into his fist once his teammate's eyes narrowed at the trumpeter. Neon had no such tact as she let out a laugh while Kay just kept eating.

As for Blake? Blake didn't seem to notice.

* * *

It was a day or two after the lunch incident, Ilia was outside JNPR's room and to anyone passing by appeared frozen. Her fist raised to knock but a good inch away, her eyes closed shut as she took a deep breath.

 _You can do this, Ilia... You can do this, you managed to escape a terrorist cell that's gone out of control... You survived Atlas' attitude to faunus.. You even survived being teamed with Neon for God's sake... You. Can. Do. THIS!_

"Alright, what else should I get, guys?" Jaune yelled back as he opened the door, "Cho- OW!" When he turned to face the door way he found a knuckle in his right eye.

Ilia jumped back, turning a bright purple and lime green. "I-i I am so sorry!" The rest of JNPR came out to see the exchange student and their leader, who was apologizing as well.

Jaune rubbed his eye, the pain slowly fading away. "It's fine, it's fine, that's what I get for not looking forward." He let out a weak chuckle, his eye going from Ilia to his sister team's door as RWBY sans the B came out. "H-hey guys, just.. got into a little misunderstanding is all."

Ilia silently screamed as she thought about just booking it. _Maybe if I run away quick enough they won't recognize me..._

"Oh hey you're Blake's buddy!" Yang smiled, stepping out the doorway.

 _FUCK!_

"H-hi..hi guys.." Ilia turned towards them, her faith in whatever is out there reaffirmed once she saw her fellow faunus was absent. "Um..um.." She began stammering, looking between the two teams. "C..can.."

Ruby and Jaune looked at each other, nodding as they turned to their teammates. "Team meeting! JNPR's dorm!" The miniscule reaper proclaimed, grabbing Ilia by the hand as Yang and Weiss followed.

* * *

 **I am going to try to update this far more often than my other stories, largely because romantic comedy helps me relax and I love shipping. It's really an addiction at this point that I have no want or need to get rid of. As you might guess, Blake doesn't recoperate Ilia's feelings so the majority of this will involve her new friends trying to set her up. Feel free to suggest a character (whose a girl and a student) for her to end up on a date with. Sorry for those who were hoping to see Glynda x Ilia (Teacher's Pet) or the like. Ciao for now.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I think I might extend the rule to just "any girl who's age wouldn't be an issue" because this Illia is still a minor. Chances are I'll do quasi-genderbends of male canon characters (Jaune might have a twin or cousin named Jean who shows up, Adam has a more charismatic younger sister, etc.) if anyone wishes.**

* * *

Ilia was currently sat on one of the bed's, across from her was Pyrrha _freaking_ Nikos and the blondie with a dick whose eye she took out. Blake's team moved a bed next to their's to sit on while the cute redhead and Mistrali were getting snacks. _Okay... Okay you can do this..._

Ruby began, "Soooo, Ilia, whatcha need?"

 _Fuck, I can't do this!_

She opened her mouth then closed it. This went on for a few seconds until she heard Pyrrha's voice. "It's alright, any friend of Blake is a friend of ours." Everyone nodded in agreement, Jaune chimed, "And if there's something bothering you, we're here to help."

Ilia looked around, seeing everyone giving a warm smile. _No wonder Blake likes it here..._ She took a deep breath, "Alright... The thing is... I'm-"

"In love with Blake?" The short hammer-wielder said nonchalantly, bringing a bag of chocolate chips as her partner brought a stack of pancakes.

The reptilian faunus deflated, slumping back on the bed as she let out a groan. "Was it that obvious...?"

Yang let out a snicker, "How could we not with the way you look at her. Then again can't blame yo-UF!" Ruby's elbow found itself in her sister's gut, glaring at her as she returned her attention to Ilia who just had a realization. "W-wait, you all are okay with me being.. y'know?"

Everyone blinked and started going around raising their hands,

Ruby, "Demisexual."

Yang, "Pansexual."

Weiss, "Bicurious.. I _think_ , I haven't really thought much of dating the same sex... until I came here that is." She sighed as Pyrrha start rubbing the back of her neck, "Uh.. well you see, Illia.." She looked at her team before Nora bounced onto her lap and Ren put his arms around Jaune. "Yeah.." She blushed as Nora kissed her cheek.

Illia's eyes widened at this,

Ilia sat herself back up, "Yeah but.. I don't know.. When it comes to just spitting out how I feel I just.. I just clam up.." She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "What if.. what if she says no and doesn't want to talk to me afterwards.. I.." She closed her eyes, opening them once she felt a little reaper hugging her. "It's alright, Ilia, you know as well as I do that Blake wouldn't leave a friend behind over something like that." She gave the chameleon girl a squeeze, "You'll only be hurting yourself if you hold onto this."

Weiss coughed into her fist to grab the room's attention, "While.. lacking in romantic experience, I do have my sister's advice.. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

The blonde bombshell next to her let out a snicker, "You're kidding right? That's so cheesy!" The heiress rolled her eyes in response, "Still stands, essentially it is better to take the chance when you can instead of missing out on it."

JNPR's fearless leader went over and patted Ilia's back, "Yeah, and you know what? We can help!"

Ilia raised an eyebrow at this, "Help...?"

Jaune looked around, "I mean, back you up when you go to confess, help get Blake secluded so you can have the right place to talk... or try to give advice on romance like Snow a- I mean, Weiss did."

The former White Fang noticed the blonde shake a little as the aforementioned heiress glared at him. She looked around to see the rest were apparently on board, with all nodding or raise their thumbs like Nora did.

She smiled back, struggling a bit with words as she's only ever really gotten this kind of support from her own team. "T-thank you all so much!"

* * *

Ruby, the rest of RWBYJNPR, Flynt and Neon were outside the dorm of FNKI as the hallway was filled with the sounds of Illia's cries. All attention was on Blake as she was clearly distraught and still surprised.

"Okay how was I supposed to know she liked me?!"

Pyrrha raised an eyebrow, "You didn't know she liked women...?"

Belladonna opened her mouth and then closed it, "I... may not have noticed and just assumed she didn't like dating..."

Flynt sighed and leaned against the wall. "Okay, so now what? How are we going to have our sad little scalie happy again?"

Neon raised her hand, "Yes, Neon?"

"Strip club?"

Flynt rolled his eyes, "No, Neon, strip clubs don't bring happiness they just hide pain. Red?"

Ruby, Nora and Pyrrha went to speak before looking at one another. " _Little_ Red."

Ruby and Nora looked at each other, "Oh fuck me, Ruby got any ideas?"

The reaper put a hand to her chin and started thinking, "Well... what if we found her someone besides Blake? Any contenders?"

Crickets, Yang coughed into her fist. "No offense Ruby but... it'd just feel like a pity date if any of us asked her out, at least so soon as she's been dumped. That also rules out kitty kat 2 electric boogaloo over there."

The reaper puffed her cheeks when Jaune got an idea, "I could call my sister."

They all looked at one another and shrugged, "Sure."

* * *

 **Fuck me this quarantine has driven me so insane I actually came back to this.**


	3. Chapter 3

**No, no Author's Notes, society has** **progressed past the need for Author's Notes.**

* * *

Ilia looked up at the ceiling, having been in bed for most of the day and not a clue in terms of what time it is. She squeezed a plush chameleon that was in her arms, "Mr. Smerdyakov... am I desirable?"

Its button eyes looked up at her, as expressionless as a real chameleon.

She turned over and closed her eyes, ready to sleep even though its only 2. "Yeah... that figures..."

* * *

Meanwhile, the members of Operation: Lively Lizard Lesbians were squished into the RWBY dorm as Jaune called his older sister. He beamed when she finally answered,

"Hey, Saff, how's Terra? Good... Good, so... I was wondering... how do you cheer up a lesbian?"

Weiss grabbed the phone from Jaune, "Sorry about that Mrs. Arc but we were hoping you could help us. A friend of ours opened her heart out to someone and was crushed-"

Blake was about to object but Weiss tossed a pillow at her face with her free hand. "So we were hoping you knew of a way to help her, she's barely gotten out of bed and we're worried it's affecting her academically."

 _"Hmmm, have you considered talking to her directly about thi-"_

Weiss hung up, "Well that's a dead end, okay plan B."

Ruby raised her hand, "We upgrade her weapon for her?"

"Wha- no!"

Yang raised her hand, "We take her out clubbing?" Neon jumped up, "Or a rave!" Nora beamed, "OR A PANCAKE HOUSE!?"

"Why wo-" Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, "No, do you know what Plan B stands for?"

"Plan B - Belladonna's Replacement?" Flynt snorted, docking when he saw Blake toss a pillow at him.

The heiress shrugged, "Close, B for Bounce back, we're going to find her someone... but who..." She put her hand to her chin, as did everyone else in the room. Neon opened her mouth, then paused and shook her head. This was repeated by quite a few others before Weiss grabbed her hair in frustration, "Is it so hard to find a woman who likes woman in this school?!"

A knock was heard, the littlest reaper rushed over and opened the door. "Hey, Velvet! What can I do for ya?"

The rabbit faunus gave a wave and smiled, "Oh nothing, got tickets to this new movie playing Friday but Coco is too busy. Anyone interested?"

"Oh sorry Velvet b-" Weiss rushed over, putting a hand over Ruby's mouth, "buuuuuut we know someone who'd just love to go with you."

Velvet raised an eyebrow but shrugged, "Perfect," she gave one of the tickets to Ruby, "just text me their details and we'll see where things go, catcha later." She walked away with a spring in her step.

The group looked at one another and then at the ticket, with Nora saying what they were all thinking.

"Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be."

* * *

Ilia was scrolling through her phone when she heard a knock at the door, her eyes darted over to it for a second only to go back to her phone. Another knock, she ignored it again.

 _Knockknockknockknockknockkn-_

"NO ONE'S HERE!" Ilia yelled, blinking and then letting out a sigh as she got out of bed. She put on a robe and some slippers as she made her way to the door, "You better be selling girl scout co- Oh hey, Ruby." She saw the redhead's hand was raised to knock again, thankfully she stopped before taking out Ilia's eye.

"Uh, heeeey Ilia! I- well w-we were wondering if..if.." She looked down to a movie ticket, "Ah..ah," she coughed into her hand, "Okay, so... do you want to go to the movies on Friday?"

"Ruby.. you're wonderful but just a bit too.. young for m-"

Ruby put her hands up and started spattering, "N-no no no, there's someone else, she was looking for someone to go with, her name is Velvet and she is also Faunus but we swear we didn't set you up just because both of you are faunus I'm sure i-"

Ilia took the ticket, "Thanks, tell her to text me." and closed the door.

"W-well that works," she took out her scroll, "Okay, Plan Bunny Bounce Back is under way."

A loud slam was heard over the scroll as Weiss hit her head on a nearby wall, "Please just call it Plan B, and send Ilia Velvet's scroll number."

* * *

Ilia stood in front of the bathroom mirror, having splashed her face a few times to help get her out of this funk. She reached for her hairbrush when she saw her phone buzz.

 _Velvet S: Hey... is this, Ilia?_

She took the phone, typing away.

 _Ilia: Yeah, take it you're Velvet yeah?_

 _Velvet S: Mhm, how'd ya know? XD_

 _Ilia: Helps Ruby gave me your number so Scroll ID_

 _Velvet S: You didn't give me an animal nickname for your contacts did you?_

 _Ilia: Oh god no, I hate it when people do that like yeah I'm a chameleon faunus but I don't want to be Karma Chameleon or_ _Caméléon in your phone -_-_

 _Velvet S: Tell me about it... Least you're not Pumpkin Petra_

 _Ilia: I'd die, thank God there's no chameleon food mascot_

 _Velvet S: What about that one that sells car insurance?_

 _Ilia: Nah that's an iguana, funny enough voiced by a chameleon faunus. Swell guy, I love him in the show Blue Elf_

 _Velvet S: You watch Blue Elf?_

 _Ilia: I have the whoole season on DVD_

 _Ilia: whole*_

 _Velvet S: After tomorrow's movie wanna binge them some time?_

 _Ilia: I'd love to_

Ilia thought for a second as she thought about what to type next... "Eh, fuck it."

 _Ilia: 3_

 _Velvet S: I can't wait to see you tomorrow 3_

Ilia smiled, looking up at the mirror. "Maybe things are getting better."

She jumped, turning a shade a pink when she heard loud knocking. "Ilia! Get out of the bathroom already!"

The faunus blushed, "U-uh, yeah just five minutes."

"You said that HALF AN HOUR AGO!"

* * *

 **I really need to change up my writing style.**


End file.
